Thursday July 24, 2008
Hello Ms. Miller,
Recently you corresponded with my very dear friend, Nancy V. Nancy sent you a copy of part of a book she is writing about her life and the abuse she suffered as a child. The transcript contained about 42 pages referencing rape and beatings she endured from her brother in law and brother and verbal abuse from her sister.
The reason I am writing to you is because Nancy has become an emotional disaster. Literally, the only thing she does is talk about the abuse, her sister and rapes. Her life is dominated with repetitive recollections of her childhood and how her family mistreated her. She spends all her time non stop working on writing and when not writing either talking about this or sleeping. She sleeps 10-12 hours a day. She lives with me but does not work.
I am extremely concerned about her well being. I don’t know what to do. I suggested taking her to a therapist but she refuses to go quoting excerpts from your books and how therapy will not help her. She has read many of your books and wants to bring your methods and ideals to people that need help like her by her book but I am afraid she will not get better and as a matter of fact has gotten much worse since starting these writings.
I admit I don’t know much about therapy. I have read some of your material in an effort to help her but it is hard for me to feel the immense pain she is suffering because I did not experience what she did. My concern is that the self therapy she is putting herself through, without the proper guidance, is actually causing her more harm. I am writing because this has become an unbearable situation for me, not to mention Nancy, and I can not stand by while she is falling apart.
Do you have any suggestions or guidance? She won’t listen to what I have to say but she adores you and will listen to you. Is there a therapist or psychologist you could suggest here in the U.S. that prescribes to your theology or methodology and may offer her some sort of therapy or at the very least some relief? What can I do to help her? Your suggestions are very much appreciated.
AM: Nancy wroie to me Fri Jul 11, 2008
” I no longer have migraine headaches. I have so much more to say. I am no longer in a fateful sleep. Thank You.”
I understand that she feels better than ever before BECAUSE she can tell the truth after having hold it back out of fear and getting eventually a lung cancer. She is NOT falling apart if she can sleep 10 hours in the night. It is her terrible story and the denial of it that made her sick but admitting this TRUTH she is healing. If you are afraid of her courage I can understand you. But now she ABSOLUTELY needs support of people who can understand her and respect her extraordinary courage and wisdom.
You can show her this letter and tell her that she can write me if SHE (and not you) has a problem with her writing. I geuess that she doesn’t have any.