My life

My life
Saturday November 14, 2009

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Subject: a poem about my life and only possible through the insights of your books, thank you. feel free to post.

Standing up for the little girl I was…

I tried, made like everything was fine
Wasn’t this best because of the kids
And other thoughts of mine?!

Just tuck it away, act like it’s all right
Stop arguing and beating a dead horse
Forget all the fights…

It’s a new day, I’m in my thirties now
She did her best and all the other
Excuses my denial allows…

But God, that little girl within
Wanting some justice, wanting her do…
“Come on, stand up for us
You know what we’ve been through”

“I am in you and I will show you the way…
Just take off the mask and let me have my day”

“I stood up to her with all I had
Fought for the injustices we had to endure…
Today is different,
She has power no more”

“She can’t hurt us again
with her words and that belt…
We are not at her mercy
Not another welt”

“Aren’t you tired of acting…
Come on, let’s not wait a day more..
Tell her your feelings… quickly though
She’ll be out the door”

Getting along it might seem to some
But look closer, look at our eyes…
It’s off
The body never lies

It all came to a head as things often do
The denial, the repression, good-bye to you!
Little sweet one who didn’t have a chance
I will speak up for all of your tears
I am so sorry it took me 35 years…

The neglect you endured, the abuse you undertook
I am your witness and I will no longer act like all is okay
Thank you for your patience
Thank you for showing me the way

“Too much emphasis on childhood” my mother said…
Isn’t that just like her, take no responsibility
She’d do it all again…

To the little girl who lives within…
I wish I could go back and be the mother you never had
Put my arms around you and take away all the sad…

I want to go back and explain things to you
Give you genuine hugs and kisses
Listen to what you have to say
Ask about school
And what you did that day?

I want to go back and take you to every single practice
Ease your mind
Worry no more…
You will have a ride when you walk out that door…

Not only will I take you
But I will do so with gusto
The mall on Saturday?
You bet you!

The total absence of care
A mother full of rage
Thank God it’s over…
We are out of that cage

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I am a grown woman now,
But the little girl still resides within…
I will do my best to protect her
As she has done with me..
Together, we have been on the same journey, JS

AM: We don’t publish poems but this one looks like a story of your life, so we do an exception.