Is it allowed to feel?

Is it allowed to feel?
Wednesday July 15, 2009

Dear Alice Miller,

Referring to Free From Lies, p. 162, An Attempt to Explain the Origins.

I am a Roman Catholic Priest, since three month in a residential program for psycho-therapy (Ontario, Canada). Here I was advised to read The Drama of the Gifted Child. Since I began reading I did not stop and went to look for more of your writings. As so many other people commented: it was about me.

I agree with what you say in An Attempt to Explain the Origins. I always struggled with such theology and philosophy. I had my whole life the intuition that I was a victim. Now I finally see why and that my anger is justified. I was not born a ‘sinner’, but made a ‘sinner’.

Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, however, I could only make sense of by seeing him making a choice to share my suffering, pain, failures. I believe now, after reading so many of your texts, that I can see him as an ‘enlighted witness’, as one who is really siding with that little child. For this believe I never gave up in all these years, no matter how often I encountered myself doing what I didn’t want to do. Now it makes even more sense to me seeing Jesus as the one who never abandons me, so that I will never abandon myself.

Thank you so much! HS

AM: Thank you for your frank letter. I hope you will be able (and allowed?) to make use of the material that made so much sense to you.