Thursday August 28, 2008
I have a 11 year old that has a father that is narcissitic. I have primary custuday of him and he sees less and less of his father. He is the baby of the family and I have struggles with his behavior at times on putting the blame on Mom. He is a very great student and team player on sports. I have been working on him having respect for me. My boyfriend thinks I am catering to his narcissim. I need to set more consequences or he will grow up llike his father. Any sugesstions
Norman: Every narcissistic adult was once a child whose parents demanded that he gives THEM attention and respect, instead of giving HIM the attention and respect that every child needs. In the short term, a child raised like that may look considerate and respectful of others, but deep inside such a child will remain FRUSTRATED. When he grows up he will crave to receive from others — above all from his children — the respect he never received from his parents. He will tell himself and his children the lie that the narcissistic behaviour of his parents was “for his own good”, and will use this lie to justify the same behaviour toward his children. Apparently, you also had parents like that, and this is why you feel you must also behave narcissistically toward your son, “for his own good”. But with this attitude, and despite your good intentions, you will only make your son a copy of his father.