Grieving following therapy
Monday July 24, 2006
Dear Aliice Miller,
I concluded a course of psychodynamic therapy some eight months ago, which lasted for the best part of two years. I am finding that I am completely grief-stricken since leaving my therapist, who believes that our work is complete, and that I have done all the necessary ‘grief work’ that relates to my childhood, which was characterised by parental neglect/abuse. I do not have any misgivings about my therapist, and feel that he was suitably qualified and experienced in his field, but I am left with a level of uncontrollable grief and sense of profound loss that is creating an insurmountable barrier to my desire to ‘move on’ from my childhood legacy. Although I am aware that a certain level of attachment/dependency has developed with my therapist, and that a sense of loss on leaving might well be expected, I now feel that I have nowhere to go with this grief, which I am finding utterly overwhelming, and is impacting negatively upon my husband and children.
I would be grateful for any suggestions that could help me deal with this.
Yours faithfully, T., U.K.
AM: You write: “I do not have any misgivings about my therapist (why not?), and feel that he was suitably qualified and experienced in his field, but I am left with a level of uncontrollable grief and sense of profound loss”. This doesn’t sound like a successful end of a therapy. Why don’t you tell him how you feel? If he no longer wants to listen to you why don’t you look for another therapist? You obviously need help and should take this (your suffering) seriously.