Sunday July 20, 2008
Dear Alice Miller,
I am sitting across from my 14 year old son right now. There is something I’m thinking of saying to him, but I feel anxiety about it. I shamed him horribly when he was little.
I am considering saying something like, “I shamed you horribly when you were little, to my regret, it must have been so frightening, and you
didn’t deserve it.”
I wish that we could talk about it, it may help him know that he didn’t deserve it, and to feel compassion for himself.
I hate that he is carrying this shame inside himself.
As I sit here thinking about saying this, anxiety about it is stopping me. I don’t know if I should push through the anxiety and say something or not. I don’t know what’s best for him. Any advice would be welcome, thank you, C
AM: Try to understand your anxiety before you are talking to him. Whom do you fear? What do you expect?