Tuesday January 22, 2008

Dr. Miller,
I have been thinking about this a lot, as evidenced by response time. I wonder, why not laugh if the only other option is to cry? It has been proven that laughter does our body good. Is laughter or finding humor in atrocity because there is, definitely something that denies the anger and sadness? I know in my heart there are days when I see nothing funny; say in the Turkey in the oven on Thanksgiving stuck in the self-clean mode. (since I already used this example) But, on other days, it is hilarious to me. I have told the story aloud a few times to a select few who know from whence I came and been met with a roar of laughter. The laughter really and truly felt good to hear. The shriveled up gray mass-and subsequent trip to a Chinese Food Restaurant is right out of “The Christmas Story”. BUT-it happened.

So, why not find it funny versus cry over the sheer madness and choas that was my life. I prefer to laugh versus cry. BUT- another but- I don’t want to be physically sick forevermore. I just had my fifth kidney surgery last Monday the 14th. I am only forty-and this isn’t looking good. Is there EVER a balance in life? Do things always have to be just one way, black or white, all or nothing? A cognitive therapist I imagine would say no-but cognitive therapy did very little good for me. I only healed the few things I did when I felt the feelings, all of them. So, sorry so long winded…is it just that I have a dissociative disorder that interferes with the assimilation of it all?

If I choose to write the satirical auto-biography for reasons that include money-would that be so terrible? Will I remain physically sick? My chapter in Dr. Ross’s book didn’t bother me much-although I didn’t read the entire book yet…Any input or advice would be so appreciated. I wish you were in America-I would travel to speak in person and pay whatever you charge for services. I realize free advice isn’t something often offered…especially here in America. We Americans have debts for a war no one can win – to pay for, so it makes most of us money hungry, materialistic asses who think only of instant gratification. A very sad fact at best. Thanks-even if you don’t respond.
Sincerely, L. G.

AM: Five kidney surgeries and you insist on healing yourself by laughing? Why not? You are free, of course, to destroy your life; it belongs to you. But why are you asking me for advice again? I did already answer you. I do not offer any training for clowns, with or without charges.