Harmful non-physical abuse
Wednesday April 26, 2006
dear miss Miller,
I just read your book ‘die Revolte des Korpers’ (I don’t know the english title). I couldn’t stop until I reached page 133 (has cost me some sleep), which is the end of the second part. In strugling all of my life, I knew already what you’ve written down, but never dared to express myself. I was so scared for other persons reactions that I always kept my own feelings inside. For years I’ve been suffering from chronique fatiqueness. I never accepted (innerly) the reactions of other people saying to me things like ‘you’ll get over it’ or ‘if you change your behaviour because we don’t like it’, … In my childhood feelings were not accepted. Even now I’m aware that I have a strong urge to supress feelings from other people and myself. I know already it makes me sick and I was already learning.
I’m so glad that I read your book because it gives me the feeling that I’m not on my own. Among other recent developments in my life this is a great help and I intent to do more with it.
This leads to my question: I don’t think I’m spanked or otherwise physicially abused. I’m sure that mentally I was ‘abused’. It feels exactly the same as the examples you’ve written on physical things. In your book and articles on the web there is an emphasis on physical abuse. I think for solving my problem it doesn’t make a difference. Am I right and do you see the same simularity??
I hope you have the time for a reaction. In any case I’m sure that your work will encourage other people although I can forsee many resistance.
thank you again for putting your insights on paper. It helps me a lot.
R D G
AM: Yes, non-physical abuse can be as harmful as beatings. But it is often less visible. The reason why I write mostly about physical one is because I want to show that even in the most obvious cases of abuse the adult children tend to deny it. So much more if the abuse was hidden.