A rare question I have never heard yet

A rare question I have never heard yet
Sunday April 16, 2006

Hi Alice,

I have one question in my mind that is quite surprising actually that no one haven’t asked it or answered it yet from this point of view. Or if has I haven’t ever dashed into such question anywhere, not in tv, radio, news papers, or in discussions with people. So I ask you that about homosexuals. Gays and lesbians. Everyone keeps all the time saying that everyone have a right to be gay or lesbian or whatever if they feel so and that is just as normal as being streight. And they are just as much human beings and have the same rights as everybody else. Well, I agree that they are just as much human beings as everyone else with all the same human rights as everybody else and if two adult person of the same gender want to sex with each others it does no harm to anybody so I’m not preventing anybody from that. But I just wonder about that can it be normal? I just wonder how that kind of sexual orientation that never ever produces anykind of offsprings can survive a couple of billion years of evolution on earth. Seems like something impossible to me and makes me think that if a person is 100% gay or lesbian there must be somekind of abuse happend in his/her life that has confused his/her sexual desires.

What do you think? Is there something in the picture I just don’t see and I am wrong or am I right or something in between ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m not an expert of this area but just common sense makes me think so. I have no need to take a strong opinion in this but that’s how it seems to me. If this is a clear argument and if it is a right argument maybe it helps gays and lesbians to question their past and find their true selves. Seems to me that there’s also a danger that some people might use it to discriminate gays and lesbians.

In theory bisexuality seem more possible to exists but I if I think that the best qualities to survive always survives best in nature then for sure eventually pure straights are only ones left in a long run.

(The next lines might be maybe quite unclearly expressed.) Or then there could be bisexuals because if there has not been always the opposite gender availeble for sex for some reason but there might be at least the same gender and you can have sex with them and release at least somehow sexual press and make your life easier. But same can be done by masturbating too so bisexuality has maybe not been so much needed during evolution. Ok, this was not very scientic, just things I’ve thought. But I am not a scientic anyway ๐Ÿ™‚ But just want say that 100% homosexuality seems impossible in this light but bisexuality might be possible if we assume that a person has a helthy soul with no traumas left in him/her in childhood.

But as I said I am not an expert and haven’t done any research on this matter. Just things I’ve been thinking. Maybe I will do some research one day just for fun because it seems interesting subject. But I’d like to hear your opinion because I think you have a deep understanding of a human soul and childhood traumas and that’s why I’d like to hear what do you think.

So just to put my questions simple: Do you think homosexuality is a sign of abuse in childhood? And if my arguments are wrong can you tell me where I go wrong?

I am a 30 year old man from Helsinki, Finland and I appreciate your work a lot. Sure it has helped me a lot and also some people close to me. I still suffer from tension in my body and some other problems and it would be nice to write to you sometimes about my problems cause I don’t know any good therapist here. Even though you get a lots of mails from people and probably can’t answer (at least not very deeply) to all of them I probably will write to you anyway. But that’ll be another mail then.

Hope to hear your opinion and I wish you all the best from the very bottom of my heart ๐Ÿ™‚ A. L.

AM: I think that everything we do, feel, think and above all FEAR is in some way connected to our experiences in the beginning of our lives, even before birth. But there are very few people who can see it. Most of us deny this very simple fact, they fear the painful memories because as children they would have killed them and many adults still believe that these memories are dangerous. In this way we avoid the pain of having been traumatized so early. I think that homosexuals are not an exception. As everybody else they prefer not to know what happened to them in childhood and to label their sexual orientation as inborn. However I know of some of them who did want to discover their stories and they succeeded in doing this. It doesn’t mean that everybody must do it.