pretended love

pretended love
Thursday September 24, 2009

Dear Alice Miller,
I just wanted to share this poem with you ehich I wrote a couple of months ago..
Thank you for your wonderfull work. It is realy helpfull and I hope I will learn more in time.


I am alone, not by choise, but because there is no one to be by my side

and I cried for too long without a voice, acting like I choose to hide…

the pain..

She holds my hand, this little girl inside of me, helpless and insecure

trying to show the strengts of a woman she wants ME to be, so I don’t have to endure…

this pain..

I have forsaken her, the part of me that is my soul, I lied to her gave her hope

promising that THIS person will make me whole, and wont play a game like the others, giving me…


Still, deep down I know I’m fooling my heart, because this person like the others, doesn’t know what love is,

and I can’t teach him that part, because I haven’t leared it either, so all that remains is…

this pain….


I can tell you that I feel great, because I have finaly given up my hopes and expectations of people who can’t give me the love that I need, that means also my parents. I can see how they became the people they are now and I can feel sorry for the children they were, but I can’t forgive what they have done to me, how they turned me into an insecure, low-selfesteem, self-hating and weak person. Since I stoped hoping to recieve the love they CANNOT give, I feel free. At first I cried so hard that I thought I was going to die, but you were right, feelings don’t kill. And even though I still cry at times, I do’t mind, and I won’t stop my tears anymore. I will let the child in me FEEL and not distract it with “pretend love” from people who don’t even know what love is.

Thank you for everything

D. (20)

PS. I would like for you to watch this video. It’s a short but powerfull poem, by Daniel Beaty called “Knock Knock”

AM: I congratulate you to your insights!