Can men be frigid?

Can men be frigid?
Friday May 05, 2006

Dear Ms. Miller,

Reading your book “The Drama of the Gifted Child,” has changed my life. I read it many years ago but its content is with me every single day of my life.

I wrote you an email last January (was it December 2005?) and I believe I did not get an answer.

My mother was very abusive and I married a “frigid man.” I am in the process of getting divorced but I am very puzzled by the idea of a frigid man. It seemed that I was never doing enough for him. Then I realized, many years later, that it was not my fault.

But I have only heard of the concept of frigidity as regards women, not men – am I wrong on this?

Where can I get more information about frigid man, cold man, absent men? The concept that best applies to the man I describe, as I see it, is “frigid.”

Can men be frigid (like the term that applies to women) – sexually, emotionally? Where can I read more about this?

In advance I thank you very much for your reply,

AM: You ask ME: “can men be frigid?” Why should I know more than you after you were married to such a men, as you say? It sounds like a child’s question: “can parents be cruel? this is quite impossible, they are supposed to be loving and caring and protecting me from any cruelty.” Children can’t believe that what they experience is true. But you are not a child. Try to take seriously WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW.