to breath better
Monday November 23, 2009
Dear Ms Miller:
I may say thank you, for writing about child mistreatment books in a very honest and deep way.
A year a go a beloved friend gave me one of your books for my birthday, but I am not able to read it until know, many times I tried to read it but “something” forced me to leave it, beacause to a “non stop bronquitis” a began to investigate other possibilities about my illness, I remembered the book (The Body Never Lies)
At this part I have to say I’m from Chile and my parents were political prisioneers in chilean dictatorship at 1973; they were captives for a year and a half at concetration camp named “Villa Grimaldi”. For that reason my parents were forced to leave the country (so I was born in Venezuela and I lived there until I was 10 years old) In Venezuela; my father was very violent with me and my younger sister, He imposed the same torture system on me (he hit me lay in a bed legs and arms open, food prohibition, forced me to stay on my knees for hours, besides verbal humilliations and he ignored me for days).
After a period of hard denial; I realized my father never loved me and he was very cruel with me and my sister, for no reason at all!, but the hardest situation for me was he did not want my love, he did no care about my love. When I got close to him I was rejected. I just remember this a few weeks a go, I’m feelling in sorrow and anger, constantly I think to myself “well, if he does not want my love, he can go to hell”, but I’m furious with his “cruel attitude”.
Fortunatelly my friend (who gave me the book) has been a tender “helping witness”, she’d been a good company and a very understanding partner. My therapist has been a support to me too, but sometimes I have to become to establish my ideas, because sometimes she tries “to soften things up”.
Nowadays, I’d been read 3 of your books, and I think of them as a key to open, body, heart and soul to a real conexion with emotions and feellings, a real conexion with chilhood. I have to admit; It’s been a hard time, but so necesary for me, I know the process it had just begun, but I can breath better now.
I’m really grateful to my friend and to you and your work.
PS: English is not my first language, so sometimes is difficult to express myself, especially when I’m talking about my feellings, so I apollogize if you don´t understand the whole letter, but I think the most is very understandable.
PS 2: If is possible and if you consider properly, I would wish my letter to be published.
AM: I am glad that you can “breath better”, it is a good start!