Feeling like shit
Tuesday February 20, 2007
After having a long conversation yesterday with a friend of mine about (my) abusive parents, I awoke this morning feeling like shit,and I must wonder if it is this that keeps so many people from (wanting to) discovering their own abusive pasts-that the (internalized) parents punish them for daring to have spoken so critically about them.In my family breaking the silence about the rapes and other sordid abuses was and still is THE capital crime,to be punished quickly and without mercy-and BOY does my body remember and know this!
Of course if you feel it would ber helpful to others feel free to print this.
AM: Yes, it is very common, after having denounced the deeds of their parents, that people feel at night very badly, like if they were being punished. Because to see and condemn what the parents did was the worst sin and children were often cruelly beaten if they saw too much. So to feel like shit was the memory of what probably happened many times. But this time you understood the connections and you can no longer be forced to remain silent.