Wednesday April 18, 2007
I’ve read two of yur books now – the last being ‘The Body Never Lies’. What I’ve found there has explained a lot of what I’ve vaguely felt, but never understood. I ordinarily live my life intellectually and have enormous difficulty describing emotions and making proper sense of them. This has slowly improved over the past twenty-five years since I left home. It has become a very rapid development in the past few months as I have finally been able to gain access to therapy for sexual abuse in childhood. As I took up an art recreation class 18 months ago, my counselor suggested that I also go to an art therapy group within the same organisation which has allowed me to find the necessary inner connection to my own feelings. This is doing enormous good for me, both artistically and emotionally. Issues which I have known about and to a point understood intellectually have suddenly become to fall into place because I now feel the knowledge.
Explanations alone are not enough. I am grateful to all those, like yourself, who have pushed through their own confusion and questions and then had the grace to share that insight with the world. It is very encouraging. I was on your website today and found it fascinating. I realise that this is a longish letter, I feel relieved to have found a place where I can express some of my own thoughts and feelings without being seen as either mad or narcissistic. I used to have some arthritis in my joints. I thought it was only from stress. Of course, now I understand it is pent-up anger that I was never allowed to acknowledge, never mind express. It is encouraging to me that when I let myself down in my own parenting practice and standards, that this will happen less and less from now on. I don’t do anything in extreme, I simply don’t like it when I find myself shouting and slamming a door. I used to think that awareness of my own anger sources would not be enough to completely break bad habits. Now I know better. Which is great for my children too.
Thanks for your time. I daresay I will make an effort to write another time when I am further down the road of my own recovery.
Peace and love to you.
AM: Thank you for writing; it seems very coherent, what you write. Your arthritis will disappear also as soon as you dare to feel your true emotions. Good luck!