Confronting Abusers

Confronting Abusers
Sunday April 15, 2007

Dear Ms. Miller,
I recently saw a documentary film called “Awful Normal” about a young woman who confronts the man who sexually abused her when she was a child. She yells at him, telling him how he betrayed her. She said that after the confrontation she felt much more assertive in her personal life. I am considering confronting my ‘parents’ regarding the abuse I suffered. We have had no contact for 20 years. I am not expecting to hear anything from them that would be helpful. In fact, I don’t plan on listening to anything they have to say, since they have not changed since they were actively abusing their children. I would just like to tell them what I think of them. I’m sure they will walk away, but if I can express one sentence before they do, I think it will help me. Will you please tell me what you think of this idea? Thank you, and you have my permission to print this letter, C. B.

AM: You seem to know what you want: to let the child you were SPEAK under the protection of you as the adult, and to hear your voice, your courage, even in the presence of your abusers. You seem also to be well prepared for the hurt you may confront again. But if you protect the child you will overcome the pain. Anyway, you should be able to tell somebody how you felt after this confrontation. You can also write here.