Saturday December 20, 2008
Dear Alice Miller,
Your books are both an inspiration and a comfort.
As a healer working in surgery I became aware of the fact that surgical trauma
threw people back into state dependent memories of life in the womb. This got me
interested in my own prenatal life and birth experience. Here I found the roots
of many patterns and defenses that were later reinforced in my infancy and
Years after delving into this realm my mother decided that she never wanted to
see me again. (I had been trying to warn her that my brother, her avowed
favorite, was stealing money from her – a crime of which he was later
convicted.) I became very paranoid and couldn’t sleep. Eventually I
recovered memories of my mother’s trying to abort me and a whole other level
of my troubling feelings and behavior became clear.
Since then I’ve come to believe that depression springs from this hidden
desire (often accompanied by life-threatening behavior) of a mother to kill a
child and the child’s helpless and hidden rage about this.
I am wondering if you have looked into prenatal life and how that affects us.
P.S. I’m also wondering how I might find other people in my area who are
interested in your work.
AM: Thank you for your letter. I don’t doubt that you are right and that our body has memories from the prenatal times even if I havn’t made research on this issue. Because a mother who wanted to abort may show the same wish to get rid of the children also later on, as you and so many others have experienced. She may ignore their personalities, their needs, their creativity and destroy their pleasure (depression?). We have to listen to our body and try to understand what it may tell us.