Short question to Alice
Monday January 30, 2006
Dear Alice Miller!
I have experienced a situation where a mother on a repeated basis counts to 10 when a child screams in order to hush it with the threat of implicitly saying it should go to his room and stay there alone 1 minute if does not stop screaming???
What are your views on this and what might the consequences be for the development of the child?
AM: Children never cry without reason. Many times they are not aware of their reasons but nevertheless crying shows their distress. It is very cruel to leave children alone in their distress, what they most need then is the warm PRESENSE of a loving person. Then the reason of the trouble can appear in their mind, they learn to trust, to express themselves in another way, more understandably, and screaming is no longer needed. screaming should not be seen as a bad behavior, it is only a signal of pain.