Sunday January 17, 2010
Dear Ms. Miller,
I have just discovered your book, The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting and it is a real eye opener for me. I have a troubled ‘relationship’ with my mother all my life. My husband says she put me in a ‘Cinderella’ role and I have since defined it as the role of a slave. I was not allowed to have my own feelings or thoughts. I know that now but she had the right to keep taking and taking and taking from me to the point of my near self annihilation. I have an intellectual knowledge of how angry and hurt I am by her and I’ve been estranged from my mother for nearly a year now. That was, until she invited me for lunch earlier this week. I nearly fell completely a part after seeing her and then I found your book. My problem is two-fold: a) I have barely any memory at all of my childhood time spent inside of the houses I lived in with my mother and b) I know that I know my true feelings of anger are repressed. (Once when I drank too much one night, I told my husband that I hated my mother and I wished she were dead.) I was shocked the next day when my husband told me I had said that. It was like I was two different people. I will read more of your books after this and what you have on your web site. Thank you so much for having your books available to an English speaking person, Helene.
AM: You have no memory and your feelings are dissociated not without reason. It must have been a very hard time, almost unbearable you had to repress out of fear. Now take your time, read the books and step by step you will recall the events that made you hate your mother and fear this feeling, so understandable however.