The absurdity of the belief that hitting children is harmless

The absurdity of the belief that hitting children is harmless
Wednesday March 22, 2006

Dear Alice,
I thought I would share with you a comment I sent in to a BBC tv program called “Have Your Say”, to the question “Can The War On Drugs Be Won?”.

“Sure it can, if people are willing to search for the real causes of their addiction-injuries they sufferred as children.
Much or all of what a person addicted to drugs is trying to escape are the sufferrings they indured as small children,usually done to them under the guise of “a good upbringing”.
TV shows,including some done by the BBC,now show “naughty” children being systematically ignored and disrespected by their parents,usually with the coaching of a so-called “expert” assuring them that what they are doing has no negative efects on their childen-but it does!
These same children,with no other chance,will grow up to ignore and disrepect their feelings EXACTLY as they have learned to do fr! om their parents,because what disguises as a “good upbringing” inhibits the child from orientating to their feelings as a necessary tool in later life.
Is it a wonder that without any help they will “choose” a path of self-denial and destruction (of their feelings) if nobody helps them ton recognize their predicament?
Do we, as a culture really believe that that children who have had the good experience of being able to orientate to their true feelings will grow up to be people who must use drugs and alcohol to escape from their worlds?
How absurd!

I hope this comment is of some use to you.
I want to again express my greatest gratitude to you, Alice Miller for the steadfast championing and support you have given to children´s rights.
Your books have had a profound effect on my life and my understanding of myself and the child I once was,and wanted to express this thanks to you.
Lastly, I hope that all is well with you and your 2 children.
S. F.

AM: Absurdity seems to be the most beloved food to the whole humanity (not only to our culture). All over the world almost everybody believes that hitting children is harmless. We can’t change these people but we can do our best to inform them, as you did.