References to Alice Miller
Saturday February 11, 2006
First and foremost I want to say that reading the Truth Will Set You Free has helped me to go far enough into the horrors in my childhood home that I have finally lost the always present longing that was sitting in my body and most noticable whenever I was still. I stopped trying to unlearn the misery that was accompanying me and looked boldly to the source of the pain and stayed looking. Childhood. Violence, insults, ambush, yelling, no where to turn.
Fifty-one years old and free of the draining gloom, at last.
I’m also sending research I have been compiling. feel free to share it. Thank You.
Renee Sagebear Albrecht
230 George St
Hamilton Ontario Canada L8P 1G1
( 905 525 2970 )
In summary; I believe great benefit follows where Mothering is upheld as the primary relationship. In patriarchal times primary family relationships are based on sexual unions. Mothers are often in a position of being expected to uphold the sexual union over and above a life enhancing environment for child raising. Patriarchy is built on a weak foundation which is not natural.
Nature provides, at every turn, for every creature, plant and animal. Nature provides the blue print.
Furthermore, it is very important to lay the blame of childhood atrocities at the foot of the ones who caused them. Everyone of us have been children. Those who were harmed need to admit the anger or hate we have embodied as a result of torments during childhood.
As Alice Miller so boldly explains, teaching/training our thoughts to be happy or to forgive or to see from the parent’s point of view does us no good. We have to speak, write, cry, express our anger and sadness because the cells of our bodies hold those events. Bodies don’t lie. Only our minds can lie. We train our minds to ignore. We wear masks of happiness and pretend our lives were not as mean as we feel.
Our bodies need to hear the truth. Apprehension and fear keep us from facing a storm of sadnes! s, rage or grief. The sun will shine again. Really shine. Because the truth really does set us free.
It is important to grow up and see parents as the people who did wrong and not to keep trying to fix the past or be the child we think they might rather have had. All children are who they are meant to be. It is mothers and fathers who mess things up. For parents this is hard to face and many other theorist will let us off the hook by pressing us to change our perceptions and forgive our parents. We need to admit the horrible truth first and foremost.
Mothers must admit what happened in our own childhood and see how the past fostered harmful attitudes and practices which come to seem relatively normal and acceptable.
Then we can recover and stop participating or covering up for others. Really set ourselves free. Our health depends on it and our children will be blessed.
AM: Thank you for your letter. I think that my recent book “The Body Never Lies” will confirm what you are writing. We can publish only the summary of your research for reasons of space.