Dear Dr. Miller,
Sunday July 20, 2008
Dear Dr. Miller,
I am 31 years old and have been suffering with daily migraines for the past 2 years. I tried all kinds of medications, treatments, even surgery. Through therapy and reading your books I have learned that the physical pain is my body’s expression of the emotional pain from my abusive childhood. My father beat us with his belt, went into terrifying rages, was a controlling religious zealot, was unable to keep a job and forced us to move all over the United States. My mother completely fell apart emotionally by the time I was 6 years old and left my older sisters to raise me while she stayed in bed.
Thank you for showing me that I am not crazy. That the pain I feel is real. That my anger is justified. That I don’t have to feel guilty anymore. I have always felt an overwhelming sense of obligation, guilt, and responsibility towards my parents. They never allowed me to express myself or to question anything they said. Thanks to your books and my therapist I am learning to listen to my body and my feelings. It is scary to feel all of these things but not nearly as scary as spending the next 30 years in pain and fear.
A.
AM: No, you are not at all crazy, your father was crazy when he beat you with his belt. Fortunately you can feel your ABSOLUTELY justified rage so that you get free from people who did so much harm to you, and to learn to love eventually yourself. Your rage will leave you as soon as you no longer feel dependent on their love and can fully enjoy your life without any guilt feelings. Congratulations.